


Shinobu's Cabbage

by Fighter_and_Sacrifice



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Crack, Food Porn, Food Sex, Other, Sexy Times, cabbage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2018-08-28 13:57:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8448778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fighter_and_Sacrifice/pseuds/Fighter_and_Sacrifice
Summary: Shinobu decides which cabbage to cook for Miyagi. Or, the story where Shinobu has sex with a cabbage.





	1. Chapter 1

One day, Shinobu was at the apartment while Miyagi was at Mitsuhashi getting extra work done grading his students' work. It was Saturday, so Shinobu was in the kitchen, wondering how he could make his delicious cabbages better suit Miyagi's sensual and manly taste buds.

Shinobu was looking through his treasure trove of cabbage hell, a trunk which contained several years' worth of cabbages. A brief thought went through his head, wondering if that's why his cabbage meals were never good, but he quickly ignored it and moved on. As he looked, he found one cabbage that stood out. It had several wrinkly leaves on it, and they reminded him strongly of Miyagi's wrinkly old person face. He screeched with joy, and held the cabbage gently in his arms.

As he stood, nuzzling the sexual ugly cabbage close to his fuschia nipples, he felt his Ass Thermometer harden. He moaned loudly for 13 seconds, then set the cabbage down and took off all his clothes. He climbed into the kitchen sink, imagining what would happen if Miyagi saw him like this. He reached down and touched his sexy weiner that was throbbing intensely. But then, he looked at the cabbage, realizing it must feel left out.

But it wasn't an it. It was Miyagi.

Shinobu grinned, picking up the moist cabbage. He then opened up his butt hole, and put the Miyagi cabbage inside. It took some work to get it in; he had to force it in, until his ass swallowed it whole. His asshole closed up, and he grunted like an old man moving furniture. He got out of the sink, and stood up on the floor. But the pressure from the cabbage was intense, like a million cocks lighting up the inside of his rectum like a forest fire.

He moaned under his breath, the soft whisper traveling through the kitchen as he did lots of pelvic thrusts into the air that smelled of rotting cabbages and cum. He just kept thrusting his sweaty hips around and around, like a carousel. He spun in circles, jerking his arms back as his hips vibrated in front of him.

The sexual vegetable sensations inside his ass became too much for him, and he climbed back onto the counter, squatting and inserting his arm into his ass to pull out the cabbage. He pulled it out, and stared at it. The wrinkly leaves had become even more wrinkly, as if they were the face of a middle-aged man going through a divorce. But Shinobu only found it hotter.

"Mm... Miyagi..." he moaned. He slowly inserted his Peiner Weiner into the cabbage feeling the leaves close around his dick. As he did this, he picked up some of the loose spaghetti with meatballs and sauce that was laying out on the counter, and started shoving it up his ass to keep it warm. The spaghetti reminded him of Miyagi's cold, limp dick, and the meatballs rubbed his insides like chewed pencil erasers.

"Uh-huh... Argh... Yep! Oh! Miyagiiii..." He said huskily, doing his best impression of Larry the cucumber's voice. The ugly cabbage continued to vibrate on his Throbbing Pickle, turned on by Shinobu's pure sexual power. Then, the cabbage started moaning too, in a voice deeper than any Shinobu had ever heard.

"Oh, Miyagi!" Shinobu cried, shoving his hips around violently, uncontrollably. He felt the sexy, moaning cabbage tightening around his hot banana and squirting out orange juice everywhere. The meatballs in his ass expanded from the heat, and the spaghetti squiggled. The tightness of everything overcame him, and he came inside of the wrinkly, hairy, and moist cabbage.

He panted, and decided to keep the spaghetti and meatballs inside his big booty for insulation from the cold in the coming winter. He slowly removed the cabbage, which was once again silent, off from his dingle dangle. He let out a relieved sigh.

Now the cabbage was ready to be cooked.


	2. Chapter 2

Miyagi had just finished the last of the work he needed to do. He was looking forward to getting home, since Shinobu had texted him a little earlier that he would be making something special for dinner that night. Shinobu was a horrific cabbage cook, it was true, but Miyagi was more interested in getting some of that delicious 19-year old booty after dinner.

Miyagi entered his office. As he was collecting his stuff, he noticed that there was a 5-inch tall Mr. Potato Head figure on his desk.

As soon as he laid his eyes upon the figurine, he felt his limp noodle unfurl, like a butterfly’s proboscis unwinding. He gazed longingly at Mr. Potato Head’s brown, lumpy skin, more aroused than he had been in years, and pulled out his Slobbery Long-Schlong™. He frantically took the figurine and shoved it up his delectable asshole, but it reminded him too much of his ex-wife's dick so he had to take it out. He set the moist, sexual figure on Hiroki's desk on top of some important paperwork, hoping he would try it out later. It would be extremely wasteful to throw it away. Finally, it was time to go home.

 

* * *

 

 

"Hey Shinobu," Miyagi said as he walked into their apartment. He was immediately assaulted with the scent of a thousand rotten cabbages. Though that was a daily occurrence, it seemed different this time. Like someone had poured orange juice and cum into the cabbage trove, or something. Luckily, Miyagi had built up a resistance to Shinobu's repulsive cabbage dinners, and was able to walk into the kitchen without throwing up.

"Miyagi, I'm finishing dinner. Go sit down," Shinobu said. Miyagi left and sat at the table. Shinobu soon brought out dinner. It looked like a plate covered in pieces of moldy gum that had been chewed by four different people at the same time. He grabbed some with his sticky hands, and suddenly pointed at the floor, wearing a terrified expression.

"Miyagi! Look at that!" He screeched. Miyagi, shocked, fell over onto the spot where Shinobu was pointing.  Shinobu took the opportunity to rip his pants open and stuff the ass-cabbage inside his thicc Booty. He grabbed more from the rest of the plate and shoved it in for good measure. Miyagi was now writhing on the floor in absolute pleasure from the cummy cabbage. Then, Shinobu got an idea.

He went to the refrigerator, and pulled out the necessary materials: Gogurt, Windex, and a hot dog. He walked up to Miyagi and shoved the sexual Gogurt right up next to the diseased pox-cabbage in his ass. Then, he took the Windex and sprayed it on his throbbing Dongle Skin-Sausage. How he loved the burning chemical feeling. It aroused him like nothing else. He sprayed some on Miyagi's as well, just to increase his pleasure. He then took the hot dog, and microwaved it for 30 seconds. While waiting, he jerked his fiery peanut to the sounds of Miyagi's screams. He then slowly sucked the moist 1-foot hot dog into his mouth-hole, and slurped loudly down his throat in one gulp.

At this point, Miyagi was so turned on he just couldn't handle it, and Shinobu could tell he was going to cum soon. He knew exactly what to do. He stared at the bulbous watermelon that was laying on the floor in the middle of the living room, and concentrated on it. Mm, so green, so sexual.  Then, he used his magnetic liver to pull the watermelon towards him. The watermelon shot towards him from across the room, and he reached towards it like a football player reaching for his boyfriend's ass while fucking him in the second stall of a Chili's bathroom while two employees listened from inside the next stall over.

He caught the watermelon and walked over to Miyagi who was still wiggling wormily on the floor. He stabbed the watermelon 8 times in the same spot and shoved it up his bootyhole.

"What are you doing Shinobu?" Miyagi asked desperately, like a middle-aged woman who does yoga every Wednesday. Shinobu didn't answer, just plunged his face into Miyagi's delicious butt. He licked his asshole and stuck his tongue inside, where he could just barely stick his tongue into the hole of the watermelon. He slurped Miyagi's ass like it was soup. He fucked the Ass-watermelon with his reptile tongue.

Then, his Windex-soaked peiner weiner started flopping around. He shoved his arms all the way up Miyagi's ass and pulled out the watermelon, and Miyagi jumped on him and fucked Shinobu in the ass as Shinobu fucked the sexual ass-watermelon. The melon was now vibrating around his plum-shaped salt shaker, and it was going at top speed. His appendix slithered through his body like a snake. It slithered right out of his mouth and went up Miyagi's ass, where it started vibrating as well to combat the cabbage.

"Ah, Shinobu! Your appendix... So sexy, ah, AH!" And Miyagi came in Shinobu's Booty. Shinobu came inside the vibrating watermelon. He took it off his hot pink gourd-shaped Cabbage Detector, and went around to Miyagi and pissed in his ass. His appendix got scared and came out, then he stomped it to death on their kitchen floor. He was also able to get the cabbage pieces out, and gave them a quick rinse in the sink, along with the watermelon.

After this, Miyagi and Shinobu were finally able to have dinner.


End file.
